dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
