Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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