Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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