he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
