You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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