I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize