Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
