so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
