Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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