i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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