nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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