It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
nutella sex= disaster
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
