he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
