actually, I'm a sock model
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
