LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
