I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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