That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my sisters under your porch take her home
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Found the puke drawer
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
