I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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