I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
