White coat. Heels.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
