I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
