so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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