I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
