So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
