He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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