Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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