He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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