just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
