in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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