guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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