my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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