Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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