Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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