ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
