Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
