K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
