If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
