I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
