corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
