I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You dont lie about slip and slides
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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