At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
