The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize