We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
