don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
