I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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