I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize