can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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