She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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