things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
