u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
