just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
