did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize