After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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