dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
