doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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