found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
