I heard we made out
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
