think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
