Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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