She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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