this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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