So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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