i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
