How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize