I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
