My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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